Yet, the very sentence above (that I just typed) is
"I- centered" or "me-centered" reasoning.

The above construct emphasizes "choice" and
"personal accountability".

These are very Western thoughts.  And the
Western mind-filter is powerful, and will even find
Bible verses to support "choice" and "decision
making" and "personal accountability".  

Let us go Eastern for a moment.  I have trained in
Zen painting and flower arranging; in meditation
and soft arts.  I trained in hard arts in the past.  
One room of my home was an indoor garden for a
year or so, in the Eastern styles.

The Bible was written supra-culture - that is, above
all cultures, Western or Eastern.  But for the
moment, let's hear another view of decision-
making.  Let's go Eastern for a moment.

    [Again, come into my room, and sit among the
    black stones scattered, but balanced by
    rhythms and curves, and the see the miniature
    city in the distance and the copper fish
    swimming by the bamboo.]

To hear the Eastern view, you must let the music
dance you.

-   To hear the Western view, you must mark the
floor with the foot patterns, and discipline yourself
to move in rhythm.

To hear the Eastern view, the music moves your
body, and the floor flows through you as the earth
cradles your thoughts with music, and the air about
you becomes non-air, not there, no audience, but
joy applauds.

-   To hear the Western view, you must stay in
control at all times, and by the way, the floor is
under your feet.  And the audience, oh gosh!  They
are there!  And it is such a powerful influence to see
their eyes.  Perhaps, they will applaud.  Perhaps I
will be elated, or devastated.  The air, gosh, I never
noticed it.

To hear the Eastern view, your partner is in touch
with you, even if you are 3 paces apart, you sense
his moves, and echo, then call, then rejoin... even
the next step is unplanned and unknown... you
become birds in flight, turning by some unseen
force and never colliding.

-   To hear the Western view, your partner is
hopefully leading you strongly... lol... or we ladies
don't know what the signals are!  What is the next
step?  Why does he signal the next move so
poorly?  The knowledge of what is required, and
how the next move is signaled, is so important in
Western dancing...   

Is swimming powerful?  Is floating on your back

-   Not all swimming is powerful; floating on your
back totally depends upon your ability to surrender
to the waters.

Not all dancing is by the force of the script; some
dancing is by the surrender to the music.

    [I hope you are still enjoying my room with
    me.  Did you notice that I did not play my wood
    recorder?  You say I did? No, I let the air flow
    into the wood.  I surrendered the air to the
    wood; the wood played upon the air.  You say
    that I only played 4 notes?  Yes, but I was not
    counting, rather those 4 were sufficient at this
    time for the wind and the dance.  Shall we chat

When a Western athlete is in Eastern mode, he
says, "Wow.. I was soooo in the zone!"   "Zone"?  
We can't even define it well in Western terms... but
the effect is of being in the "zone" is measurable in
low conflict, low stress, and high results.

Ever play ping-pong?  You know, table tennis.  
Every play it slow and careful?  That is Western.  
Every play it without a thought at high-speed
reaction-style?  That is Eastern.  No, not the
speed.  What mattered is that the table tennis
played you - that is Eastern.

OK.  Now, think Eastern for a moment.  Just
pretend, if you need to do so.  And now read about
surrender, being in the zone, and letting the music
dance you:

    [Jesus said:]  The wind blows wherever it
    pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell
    where it comes from or where it is going. So it
    is with everyone born of the Spirit."

    "How can this be?" Nicodemus asked. [John 3:
"How can this be?" was a very good question.  
Nicodemus was of the sect of the Pharisees.  
Nicodemus knew and practiced law and line; verse
and phrase; and application was here and
absolutely correct and now.  

-   To a Pharisee, every step of the dance was
shown as a yellow painted foot upon the black floor
of the dance hall.  It was all so obvious - and all so

Do you hear what we now call "Western" thinking
in understanding Nicodemus' dilemma?  Nicodemus
just heard Jesus say, "Let the music of the wind
dance you" and Nicodemus simply replied "I dance;
the music doesn't dance me... ah... say again????   
How can this be???"

Let me sum up the thoughts, because explaining
Eastern reasoning can be very hard for the writer,
and for the reader, extremely hard to
Western reasoning is thought-based;
Eastern is surrender-based.
 No wonder it is hard -
you do not reason it, you live it.

    [Did you notice that I lit a candle in my room?  
    Did you notice the flow of my hands?  I lived
    lighting the candle, yes?  I did not light it;
    rather the flow of the earth moved the lighter
    to the candle through me.  I was surrendered
    -- that is what matters.  I did not rush nor
    hurry nor go too slow.  I was surrendered.  
    Shall we continue talking?]

In my own journey as a Christian, and as someone
with severe GID, Western thinking cannot always
provide the answer or guidance that I need.

Therefore, I employ Eastern thinking.

    I surrender to the waters of being female.

    I embrace the music of the inner reasoning of
    networking, rather than the reasoning of
    competition and hierarchy.

    I hear the Wind blowing one way today, and
    another way tomorrow, and I follow.

    Until recently, for example, I was not sure of
    SRS/GRS.  Now, the Wind has blown.  I never
    planned on SRS being essential until the Wind
    blew.  In fact, as many know, I wanted and
    begged the Wind to blow otherwise.

    I stay in the zone of the Wind, hour by hour.

    There is no future planning (until the Wind
    blows that I should plan).  

    I embrace my femaleness of this moment -
    clothing does not matter; surgery does not
    matter, but being lost to the rhythm of the
    earth, with no audience, then joy applauds -
    this matters.

"Count the cost" said Jesus.  And Western thinking
loves it.  Gosh, to be so "Purpose driven", and to
estimate cost, resources, time, and willingness to
pay it.... sounds perfect.  I am soooo in control with
that verse.

But it doesn't always work.

"You that are spiritual, come alongside the one
overtaken by sin, and gently restore him."  [Gal 6:
1].  Do you sense the flow, the Spirit moving you,
and the surrender to a place of being a servant to
the one that is overcome?  Do you hear the dance
that is unscripted in this verse?  There is no
counting the cost here... there is no limit of
resources stopping you... and the Eastern mind
hears this verse, and enters into the dance.

Again, God is supra-cultural.  Western thinking
cannot explain the Bible completely; neither can
Eastern thinking.  Yet, there comes a time when the
Western thinking leads to a frustrated dead-end
and no victory, and the Eastern-thinking can lead to
living now and gentle surrender.

Are you female?  

    In Western thinking, you are female at a given
    legal (or mental) milestone.  Normally, the
    emphasis is on measurable criteria such as SRS.

Are you female?  

    In Eastern thinking, you are female the
    moment you surrender to being female, and
    live it.... now... embracing... the female in you
    dances you....  

    [Perhaps we've been in my room too long.  
    Would you like to go to the TV room?  I'll let
    you control the remote, k?  You can choose
    what show to watch.  The balance between
    being in control and being in surrender is
    sometimes difficult to hear.]

Much love in Christ always and unconditionally;


(c) Copyright Caryn LeMur 2007
The Collection of Short Works,
Letters, and Poems
Western Choice; Eastern Surrender
As many of my friends know, I
have been trained in several
typical Eastern arts.

Over time, I came to realize that
the Eastern mind-set was quite
different from the Western

And so, this letter was written to
help my friends on Transgendered
Christians to experience the
difference in the mind-sets, and to
understand the difference a bit


Western Choice -
Eastern Surrender

Dear C:

Your letter touches on several
points:  the wickedness of my
human heart, the leading of the
Spirit within my perception, and all
the churning inside me that is so
deep when a person - man or
woman - must make a difficult
choice, and then watch the impact
of that choice upon others.
In Deepest Sympathy -
Poetry for those that grieve
Building Faith, Hope, & Love -
Stories and Writings
A Cup Of Cold Water -
Letters For The Thirsty
A Pause In The Forest -
Poetry for thoughtful moments