Dear M. and A.:

After thinking about your posts, three words
come to my mind:

    extension,

    reaction, and

    addiction.

Here are my current definitions:

    - An "extension" is something that is just a
    natural part – an extension – of us. For
    example, I like music and dance. I just do. I
    guess, somehow, they are part of me and I
    a willing part of them. If I deny those
    extensions, I almost "pop" -- because I am
    denying me.

    - A "reaction" is something that moves or
    compels in response to, in reaction to, what
    others have done. For example, if I feel
    neglected by my spouse, I may go dancing
    all the more. Sometimes, I think there can
    also be a  reaction to self-talk, such as
    when I tell myself that I am not appreciated
    at work, so I'll take myself out for coffee
    and an extra long lunch.

    - An "addiction" seems to move in a life-
    cycle (my opinion, of course). At one point
    in the life-cycle, an addict has "shame" and
    "remorse", takes the drug "to medicate
    away" the shame, which adds more shame
    and remorse. And the spiral repeats. [I
    think, at a later point in the life-cycle, an
    addict has no shame or remorse, only a
    need that cannot be satisfied.]

I offer that perhaps cross-dressing has the
aspects of extension, reaction, and (shame-
oriented) addiction.

Hang with me... no insult is intended.

Because, when I hear of a wife that chooses to
stand by her man (even if she doesn't like or
understand all of CDing), then I've noticed:
    - the shame aspects of the addictive cycle
    seem to dissolve;
    - the reactionary aspects of cross-dressing
    seem to greatly lessen;
    - which leaves the extension.

An extension is beautiful when unadorned by
reactions and shame.

    How beautiful when a wife recognizes what
    a powerful role she plays -- such a god-
    given role -- like the sun upon the daffodil of
    spring, she melts away the shame of hiding
    and the reactionary wounds of winter, and
    lets the flower of her husband's
    vulnerability and openness blossom and
    dance in the winds of love.

The wife then gets to smile upon a true part -- a
true extension -- of who you are.

You both are so blessed.

Much love in Christ, always;

Caryn


*****





(c) Copyright Caryn LeMur 2006
The Collection of Short Works,
Letters, and Poems
Extension, Reaction, & Addiction
Three words.

They are each so emotionally
loaded.

Say them out loud:

    Extension;

    Reaction; and

    Addiction.

Did you feel confusion with the
first?  What of the second - did it
sound OK?  But did you wince at
the third word:  addiction?

Let's look at the words for a
moment, k?  I think at times even
the hard words are good to
consider.

Here's a note I shared with two
people
on  TG-Christians .


**************************


Three Words:  
Extension,
Reaction, and
Addiction
In Deepest Sympathy -
Poetry for those that grieve
Building Faith, Hope, & Love -
Stories and Writings
A Cup Of Cold Water -
Letters For The Thirsty
A Pause In The Forest -
Poetry for thoughtful moments