Still, if I am offered things that matter in the
"love language" of my heart, then I tend to
listen closely to that 1%. I listen ... and then... I
pick up another box of scar-reducing bandages
and another bottle of crazy-glue, just in case.
What we will do for the sake of love, or for
the chance of love, is risk everything.
What we need to do, for the sake of scar-
reduction, is any to all of the following:
- take a trusted counselor or friend
with you both to dinner or coffee. Your
counselor or friend is just there to
watch the two of you, really, and to
lightly interact. Later, meet with the
counselor/friend alone and listen,
listen, listen to your friend's insight into
your beloved - "Faithful are the
wounds of a friend." What your
counselor/friend tells you doesn't stop
love, but may help you to "count the
cost" more accurately.
- get to know your man for a year or
longer before accepting his proposal to
marry. "A prudent person gives
thought to his/her ways." You can
hang out together in all sorts of
situations, and therefore really 'see'
who he is - bad behavior and good
behavior - and know what/whom you
- during the time of dating, continue to
'lay up treasure in heaven' -- don't
stop everything you are doing just for
him. "Where your treasure is, there
will your heart be also" If you put all
your heart's 'treasure' in him, and
things don't work out, the grieving
period will hurt deeply for a long time.
- there use to be 'casual dating' [just
having fun], then 'serious dating
[looking for a life partner], and then
-- These three phases move slow
and easy in your teens and early
20's; but the three phases move
very fast later in life.
-- Perhaps you are content with
your 'casual dating' period of time
over the Internet -- some women
marry men that write well, and
stay in love forever. I adore
writers, myself, by the way.
-- But in all kindness to you, try to
enter into the 'serious dating'
phase before even setting a
marriage date. If he loves you, he
will date you -- talk with you,
entertain you, go to church with
you, and try to integrate parts of
his life into your life. You can do
the same for him -- talk with him,
tell him of your hopes/dreams,
joke with him, attend the church
he enjoys together, hang out in
the pool hall you love together,
and/or go to your favorite clubs
-- The style of relationship is a key
consideration and is what you can
study during this time of 'serious
and so forth.
Be certain you can live with the
"style" he and you create during
this phase for life.... or decline the
proposal to marry. "A woman is
under the law of her husband so
long as he lives" - the man's "law"
or "style" is very real and only
changes under extreme
circumstances -- just make sure
you can live with that style of 'man-
law' for life, k?
If our Lord has brought you a husband, I praise
If He has brought you a serious dating
relationship, I praise Him.
If He has brought you a deep experience, I
Be wise, luv. Crazy-glue is cheap, but when you
first apply it to your heart, it hurts so much, all
you can do is cry....
Much love in Christ always and unconditionally;
(c) Copyright Caryn LeMur 2007
|The Collection of Short Works,
Letters, and Poems
Love And Crazy-Glue
What do you say to a friend of
yours, when she is in love?
When she knows this is the right
When she wants to marry in just a
month or so?
Maybe all you can do is just be
honest, and talk about love... and
Speaking woman-to-woman, your
letter made me re-examine my
Sadly, my heart has been broken
so much that it is currently 1%
feeling, 9% cold scars, and 90%
crazy-glue. And I once considered
myself a romantic....<sigh>.
|In Deepest Sympathy -
Poetry for those that grieve
|Building Faith, Hope, & Love -
Stories and Writings
|A Cup Of Cold Water -
Letters For The Thirsty
|A Pause In The Forest -
Poetry for thoughtful moments