Still, if I am offered things that matter in the
"love language" of my heart, then I tend to
listen closely to that 1%.  I listen ... and then... I
pick up another box of scar-reducing bandages
and another bottle of crazy-glue, just in case.

    What we will do for the sake of love, or for
    the chance of love, is risk everything.

    What we need to do, for the sake of scar-
    reduction, is any to all of the following:

    - take a trusted counselor or friend
    with you both to dinner or coffee.  Your
    counselor or friend is just there to
    watch the two of you, really, and to
    lightly interact.  Later, meet with the
    counselor/friend alone and listen,
    listen, listen to your friend's insight into
    your beloved - "Faithful are the
    wounds of a friend."  What your
    counselor/friend tells you doesn't stop
    love, but may help you to "count the
    cost" more accurately.

    - get to know your man for a year or
    longer before accepting his proposal to
    marry.  "A prudent person gives
    thought to his/her ways."  You can
    hang out together in all sorts of
    situations, and therefore really 'see'
    who he is - bad behavior and good
    behavior -  and know what/whom you
    are marrying.

    - during the time of dating, continue to
    'lay up treasure in heaven' -- don't
    stop everything you are doing just for
    him.  "Where your treasure is, there
    will your heart be also"  If you put all
    your heart's 'treasure' in him, and
    things don't work out, the grieving
    period will hurt deeply for a long time.

    - there use to be 'casual dating' [just
    having fun], then 'serious dating
    [looking for a life partner], and then
    'marriage'.

    -- These three phases move slow
    and easy in your teens and early
    20's; but the three phases move
    very fast later in life.

    -- Perhaps you are content with
    your 'casual dating' period of time
    over the Internet -- some women
    marry men that write well, and
    stay in love forever.  I adore
    writers, myself, by the way.

    -- But in all kindness to you, try to
    enter into the 'serious dating'
    phase before even setting a
    marriage date.  If he loves you, he
    will date you -- talk with you,
    entertain you, go to church with
    you, and try to integrate parts of
    his life into your life.  You can do
    the same for him -- talk with him,
    tell him of your hopes/dreams,
    joke with him, attend the church
    he enjoys together, hang out in
    the pool hall you love together,
    and/or go to your favorite clubs
    together.

    -- The style of relationship is a key
    consideration and is what you can
    study during this time of 'serious
    dating':  
    dominance/submission,
    leadership/followership,
    negotiation/demands,
    me-Tarzan/you-Jane,
    equality/inequity,
    headship/counseling,
    love/respect,
    friendship/adversity,
    King/subject,
    equal/equal,
    and so forth.  
    Be certain you can live with the
    "style" he and you create during
    this phase for life.... or decline the
    proposal to marry.  "A woman is
    under the law of her husband so
    long as he lives" - the man's "law"
    or "style" is very real and only
    changes under extreme
    circumstances -- just make sure
    you can live with that style of 'man-
    law' for life, k?

If our Lord has brought you a husband, I praise
Him.

If He has brought you a serious dating
relationship, I praise Him.

If He has brought you a deep experience, I
praise Him.

Be wise, luv.  Crazy-glue is cheap, but when you
first apply it to your heart, it hurts so much, all
you can do is cry....

Much love in Christ always and unconditionally;

Caryn   

*******




(c) Copyright Caryn LeMur 2007
The Collection of Short Works,
Letters, and Poems
Love And Crazy-Glue
What do you say to a friend of
yours, when she is in love?

When she knows this is the right
man?

When she wants to marry in just a
month or so?

Maybe all you can do is just be
honest, and talk about love... and
Crazy-Glue.






*************************

Love and
Crazy-Glue

Dear J:

Speaking woman-to-woman, your
letter made me re-examine my
own heart.

Sadly, my heart has been broken
so much that it is currently 1%
feeling, 9% cold scars, and 90%
crazy-glue.  And I once considered
myself a romantic....<sigh>.
In Deepest Sympathy -
Poetry for those that grieve
Building Faith, Hope, & Love -
Stories and Writings
A Cup Of Cold Water -
Letters For The Thirsty
A Pause In The Forest -
Poetry for thoughtful moments