What Writes The Hand
Upon The Wall?

The tapestry I thought we were weaving is
upon the floor,
The loom is silent, the shuttlecock unmoving,
As mice eat upon the remnants
And a silent hand writes upon the walls.

What is this white thread, so torn by rodent
fear?
It was once the red thread that we'd present as
partners or spouses
Twas bleached by my wife - we are now but
'best friends'.
What writes the hand upon the wall?

What is this blue, now chewed for a nest by
others?
Twas the desire to be 'one' in public,
She allows me to hug my friends but never her -
my spouse.
What writes the hand upon the wall?

What is this gap, clawed through the tapestry?
Tis the memories of 'james', for she has loomed
with no threads of Caryn
For over 1 year with her co-workers and family.
What writes the hand upon the wall?

Look!  The mice!  Fear-of-family claws and
chews at ancient knot?
Now her father is dying.  She is with him, alone.
She has forbidden me to be by her side.
What writes the hand upon the wall?

I brought her threads of dance and writings,
She turned her back on both,
I could not give them to the mice... I could not...
What writes the hand upon the wall?

I have no strength to break the loom;
I have no hope to find a shuttle-mate;
I have no traps to stop the mice;
I softly dance by a torn tapestry upon the floor,
And write with tears upon the remnants.

What writes the hand upon the wall?


*****


(c) Copyright Caryn LeMur 2006
The Collection of Short Works,
Letters, and Poems
What Writes The Hand Upon The Wall?
A marriage with a transsexual
(TS) can be very difficult for a
spouse -- on the external side, she
normally loses her friends, the
pastor will refuse to call or visit
her, and even relatives will urge
her to divorce (or insist that she is
the cause of the husband's
transsexualism).

On the internal side, she often
questions God about her
marriage, her decisions, and His
power to heal.

All this external and internal
pressure on the non-TS spouse
can cause an abandonment of the
relationship and/or an
abandonment of the marriage.

Remember that the relationship is
abandoned long before the
marriage is dissolved.

The poem below was written
during a time when my wife
continued our marriage, but
sacrificed a  part of our
relationship in October 2006.

I cannot blame her, and do not
blame her.  

Yet, here are my words.

*****
In Deepest Sympathy -
Poetry for those that grieve
Building Faith, Hope, & Love -
Stories and Writings
A Cup Of Cold Water -
Letters For The Thirsty
A Pause In The Forest -
Poetry for thoughtful moments